Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Sometime in the middle of the night Lilly woke up drenched in sweat. David was taking up half of the bed along with the clovers and still managed to lay on most of Lilly’s body. She blew an exaggerated sign then pushed gently on David’s arm in a fruitless effort to get him off of her. His strong lean muscled arm lay harmless and limp along her chest. His chin was pressed against the top of her shoulder and his nose was smashed against the inside of her neck.
To make matters much worse, she really needed to pee.
“David.” She whispered.
He didn’t stir.
She pushed on him again with her free arm this time he grunted, growled then twisted his body to where he was in the fetal position. Both of his hands were tucked neatly underneath his head, and his legs were curled. He looked so at peace while he slept and in that moment Lilly wondered if she could fall in love with him. She had never been in love before and didn’t know what it felt like to be loved. Often she imagined it was nothing like what she witnessed in Disney movies but she was sure it was close to what she saw in movies. Granted she knew her love interest would never chase her down a busy street in order to keep her from moving away.
To be in love was really nothing she had imagined would be for her. She had never been one for boyfriends. Answering to someone just never seemed to be attractive. Never mind the horror of waiting for the person you carried about to just pick up and leave. Perhaps that is why she didn’t want to be in a relationship, she was afraid she would only end up alone.
Lilly gave up thinking and got up to head to the bathroom. She hated when her mind started thinking about serious things. She didn't like talking about them and she hated thinking them. After finishing up in the bathroom she decided it was best to go back to sleep on the couch. David had shifted in her absence anyway and she didn't want to bother with him. Plus the idea of not sweating appealed to her more then not waking up with a kink in her neck.
She wrapped the blanket she grabbed from the back of the couch around her, then wiggled her body till she was comfortable. Her mind was still swirling with the unknowns and what ifs. She began to think about Boston, she had lived her once many moons ago when she had thought it was a good thing to find herself. The short amount of time she had spent there had been the best years of her life. Coming back to California had been a painful and hard decision. She had never felt as though she belonged here, and it didn't help from time to time she met people who treated her as though she didn't belong.
Lilly turned on her side with a sigh and began to think about a transplant. Really she just wanted to get her mind of going back to Boston. If she allowed David to get her a kidney, she could live. She would live off of pills for the rest of her life but at least she would have one. Perhaps she could or she should try and have a relationship with David. After all she had agreed to one right after dinner.
Lilly threw her hands above her head, frustrated she rolled her eyes at herself. What was she thinking? Waiting for someone else to come along and sweep her off her feet was never going to happen. That was like saying that Prince Charming really did exist, he was just busy looking for her.